About 20 years ago, shortly after we were married, my wife and I ran into Tony in the lobby of a hotel in Dallas. Tony was a drummer that I knew from college and he was playing a gig in the Hotel bar. After hearing him cuss like the Brooklyn native he was and TOTALLY dominate the conversation like a bully, we said our goodbyes and walked away.
My wife commented on how bombastic the guy was and then asked me what kind of drummer he was. I said he plays the exact same way.
Those words sum up what I’ve found to be true again and again. People play exactly as they are. Know a musician who plays confidently? They’re likely to be confident in all that they do. Same is true of wimpy players.
Why is this important? Well, two reasons. First, whatever you think about new players you meet is likely to be how you’ll feel about their playing. Second, you can learn about yourself by looking at your playing.
Let’s take me for example:
If there was one constant throughout my music career, it’s that people were amazed at how agressively and confidently I played drums. Why? Because that’s not how I lived my life. If you’ve read any of my stuff at all, you know that I was a really nice guy that sorta took life as it came. I never pushed myself much or sold my abilities very well. I was very content to be in the background and not bother anyone.
Behind a set of drums, however, I was, and still am, a different story. I know my role and that role is control the music. To guide, lead and push the music, and the players, forward. Kick butt, take names, no apologies and no excuses. Because I was so comfortable playing drums, and I was secure behind them, the real me came out.
I would have been wise to look at why there was such a disparity between my living and playing. I would have been wise to realize that the player was the real me. And I would have been wise – and WAY further along – had I fought to live my life like I play drums.
So what about you? Is there a disparity that’s crying out to teach you something? It isn’t a question of confidence vs. timidity, or bombastic vs. taste. It isn’t a question of quality. it’s a question of integrity. Are you living out the real you?
You’ll never be happy, or succeed, until you are.
