I Killed My Career
If you had asked me years ago what I wanted to for a music career I would’ve answered “I just want to make a living in the music business.”
And that’s what killed my career in music.
It killed my career because it is a boring, non-specific, non-descriptive and “almost everyone can do that” answer.
- Boring – my answer was typical and therefore forgettable. Which meant I was forgettable too.
- Non-specific – what exactly is “a living?”
- Non-descriptive – what did I want to DO in the incredibly huge “music business?” My answer said nothing.
- “Almost everyone can do that” – Almost everyone can make a living in the music business and most of them do.
It took me years to realize I had three self-perceptions that caused me to give my career killing answer: false humility, fear and self-doubts.
False Humility
The main reason I gave my answer was that I didn’t want to seem cocky and egotistical. I truly wanted to tour and record Pop/Rock with international superstars but I wanted to appear humble. While humility is a good thing, selling yourself short is not.
Fear
I was afraid of failure. I was afraid that if I had said what I wanted and it didn’t happen, then what? I’d be left looking like an idiot and I might not ever work again. By setting my sights low, I knew I would always be okay.
I was also afraid of success.
- What would happen if I got the international superstar gig and I couldn’t cut it, then what?
- What would happen if I got the international superstar gig and I DID cut it, then what? What would I do after I had “succeeded?”
Both of these fears of success were rooted in:
Self-Doubts
I never faced and dealt with the fact that despite knowing I could compete and win at the level I hoped for, I didn’t believe I could.
Be-Do-Have
In one of his books, author Robert Kiyosaki talks about the fact that everyone understands the importance of work. From the time we’re two, we know that in order to have something, we first have to do something, right?
But he goes one step further and says we must first be the someone who believes we’re deserving of having AND capable of the doing. We have to first be, before the do and the have.
So what do you think of you? What are your self-perceptions that are holding you back from being the person living your dream?
