In 1993 my wife and I almost divorced. We were under a tremendous amount of stress – dying parents, exploding careers, a toddler – and we didn’t have the mechanisms and communication we needed to survive. There were, and there always are, outside temptations that took their toll too.
I’m writing this because of a new song by Toby Keith, She Never Cried In Front Of Me:
She’s someone else’s wife
And I can get on with my life
And that thrills me
She married him today
Her daddy gave the bride away
I heard a tear rolled down her face
And that kills me
‘cuz now I, can see why
She’s finally crying
She was slowly lettin’ go
If I was puttin’ her through hell
Hell – I couldn’t tell
She could’ve given me a sign
And opened up my eyes
How was I supposed to see
She never cried in front of me
It’s hard for me to say
But the story’s still the same
And it’s a sad one
And I’ll always believe
If she ever did cry for me
They were tears that you can’t see
You know the bad ones
And now I, can see why
She’s finally crying
She was slowly lettin’ go
If I was puttin’ her through hell
Hell – I couldn’t tell
She could’ve given me a sign
And opened up my eyes
How was I supposed to see
She never cried in front of me
How it oughta be
Cuz she’s gone and it’s wrong
And it bothers me
Tomorrow I’ll still be asking myself
She was slowly lettin’ go
If I was puttin’ her through hell
Hell – I couldn’t tell
She could’ve given me a sign
And opened up my eyes
How was I supposed to see
She never cried in front of me
well – I couldn’t tell
It always does.
Am I suggesting that talking and working will guarantee success? No, I can’t and I won’t. But not talking will surely lead to failure and that’s why I’m sharing these thoughts. The difference between success and failure in anything is always communication.
Whether this speaks to you about a relationship in your family, at work or anywhere else, please don’t hide what’s in your heart. We are proof that things can be worked out and brought back to where they were – and even better.
My wife and I have been married for over 22 years and have the wounds, wisdom and love to show for it – I wouldn’t trade the years for anything. We fought our guts out to have what we have and you can do the same. Sure it’s tough, ugly, painful and at times discouraging, but that’s the point.
Life requires something from you. It requires you. And when you give your all and lay it on the line for what matters, growth happens. Not only in the relationship, but in yourself.
You become better. And better people have better relationships.
Always.
